dinner and other mundane thoughts

I'm having trouble posting anything--even entries that I've already written, because it's so crazy to try jump back and forth from Normal Life to This Insane World We're Living in.

But now i'm just doing it. And I'm back-posting some journal entries from the last couple of days, even though they feel too frivolous and inane.

Tonight I kneaded my first loaf of bread in fifteen years. have i really been out that long? i think it's coming back to me, like the bicycle. if the pandemic comes, we'll have bread. we'll see if it's a hit at tonight's wine and cheese party.

Baking helps me deal with the loneliness when my baby is off working--it may in fact be the most appropriate solution! Now I have to clean up the kitchen, prep for class, and thus my evening is structured, rather than being a big wasteland of alone-time.

After serving L* much attitude over the the very idea that I not give out candy if home alone, i must admit I'm relieved that no trick-or-treating happened. I peeked out into the neighborhood at twilight and NOBODY had their porch lights on--not even the neighbors with scarecrows and stuff going on.

I made a salad with the last of the lettuce and gobbled up all those little grape-sized tomatoes. sweet bursts of sunshine. I'm still hungry, but I know that when the bread is done, I'll want to eat several slices so I'm saving room.

I also have to pick out a suit to wear to the arraignment tomorrow. I fear my passion for suits is some kind of internalized racism, like wearing a big sign around my neck saying, NO, REALLY: I'M A PROFESSOR.

But then that's what clothes are all about anyway, right? NO, REALLY: I'M A FEMME. NO, REALLY: I'M A QUEER.

Yesterday at the Dia de Los Muertos event on International Blvd., my baby bought me this fabulous RAZA hat. It's a black canvas cowboy-style hat, with a pink mariposa stitched on the front. by Anahuak designs.