Anemic: your American Idol report

Now as you may know, I am a big Queen.

I mean, I'm big fan of Queen!

I love all things Freddie Mercury (queer Black British boy).
This morning my ears are ringing from podding Greatest Hits.

In fact, I couldn't wait to plug in this morning, because last night, on American Idol, it was Queen night. I've never seen such a pathetic collection of performances in my life. I would never have thought it. Even--or maybe especially--the allegedly rocking boys failed to please.

I would never have thought it possible that a trashy white boy like Bucky could do such a sorry job on "Fat Bottomed Girls (You Make the Rockin' World Go 'Round)". I think it must be the disjuncture between this bad boy song and the candy-ass image that is American Idol.

Thank god someone talked Catherine MacPhee out of performing Don't Stop Me Now! (I'm trying to imagine what could be more lame than a perky eighteen-year-old girl singing "I wanna make a supersonic man out of you."

(And what is it when you have little girls pretending to be hard rocking drag queens? It's not verisimilitude...what's the term I'm looking for?)

"Somebody to Love" was absolutely atrocious. I mean maybe if you were in a redneck bar after a couple of pitchers of beer it would have been bearable. Maybe.

Thank God for Paris. (the singer, not the city) I'm sure she was channeling Storm from the X-Men. The Show Must Go On, even if all the competition is dead. Even though she didn't get all the big favors from the guys in lighting that McPhee and Pickler got, she was stunning and hard rocking.

I've been fantasizing today about what song Mandisa shoulda coulda woulda done. Right now the top contenders are "I Want to Break Free" and "All Dead." I also think she could done some mean scatting to "Under Pressure."

And yes, I did see the blurb in the gay press about Mandisa's allegedly anti-gay beliefs, but I'm not buying it. I think it's just a racist ploy. Some kind of Clay Aiken backlash.